5 Crucial Lessons from My First 5 Years of Marriage: LESSON 3

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LESSON 3:  Forgive Freely—Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:12 (ESV)

The more clearly we see our own sin, the more clearly we see the magnitude of God’s tender mercy toward us in Christ. This stunning realization awakens in us the same merciful disposition toward our wives that God reveals toward us.

We see this demonstrated in Jesus’ treatment of the prostitute who bowed at his feet, weeping on them with adoration and love as she poured costly perfume on them. She then used her hair and tear-mingled perfume to wash the dust off his feet. The hypocritical Pharisee observing this thought to himself, “If only he knew who was touching his feet...” Jesus, perceiving his hypocrisy, asked him a question: “Two people owed money to a lender. One owed 500 pieces of silver, the other 50 pieces. Neither could pay, so the lender kindly cancelled both debts. Which one would be more grateful?” The answer was obvious, even to the hypocrite.

I have come to realize that my ability to forgive my wife is like a barometer that reveals my awareness of my own sin and God’s grace toward me. That’s why seeing my own sin is so important. The more I recognize that my personal sin is what nailed the innocent Nazarene to the cross—it was I who mocked him and reviled him, and spit on him—and then behold his response which said, “Father, forgive him, for he knows not what he does,” how can I do anything less than forgive my wife for her offenses toward me?